Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Female Of The Species Is More Deadly Then The Male!

             Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)


                           The Female of the Species

    WHEN the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, 
    He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside. 
    But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. 
    For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.


    When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man, 
    He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can. 
    But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail. 
    For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.


    When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws, 
    They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws. 
    'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale. 
    For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.


    Man's timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say, 
    For the Woman that God gave him isn't his to give away; 
    But when hunter meets with husbands, each confirms the other's tale— 
    The female of the species is more deadly than the male.


    Man, a bear in most relations—worm and savage otherwise,— 
    Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise. 
    Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact 
    To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.


    Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lay the wicked low, 
    To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe. 
    Mirth obscene diverts his anger—Doubt and Pity oft perplex 
    Him in dealing with an issue—to the scandal of The Sex!


    But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame 
    Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same; 
    And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail, 
    The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.


    She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast 
    May not deal in doubt or pity—must not swerve for fact or jest. 
    These be purely male diversions—not in these her honour dwells— 
    She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.


    She can bring no more to living than the powers that make her great 
    As the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate. 
    And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unclaimed to claim 
    Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.


    She is wedded to convictions—in default of grosser ties; 
    Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies!— 
    He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild, 
    Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.


    Unprovoked and awful charges—even so the she-bear fights, 
    Speech that drips, corrodes, and poisons—even so the cobra bites, 
    Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw 
    And the victim writhes in anguish—like the Jesuit with the squaw!


    So it comes that Man, the coward, when he gathers to confer 
    With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her 
    Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands 
    To some God of Abstract Justice—which no woman understands.


    And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman that God gave him 
    Must command but may not govern—shall enthral but not enslave him. 
    And She knows, because She warns him, and Her instincts never fail, 
    That the Female of Her Species is more deadly than the Male.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

You're not the same as you used to be

Have you ever had that moment when you realize you aren't the same person you used to be?
I was driving home from work the other day and it just hit me. If I were to answer a questionnaire now on how I react to situations and people, my answers would be very different from the person I used to be. 
I also look at the people I have collected as friends in the past couple years and I can see how different they are then those that I had before. I also look at my old friends and see how some of them would now class with my personality but I also see how some of them have become more compatible with me. It's funny how time has a way of changing you and the people around you without your knowledge. 

I used to be very fearful of what other people thought about me. I always felt judged for how I acted and what I said. I was not one to share my opinions as I didn't want someone to confront me on my views. I hated the thought of getting into a confrontation or someone not liking me for my thoughts or opinions. I used to prefer being alone as it was a much safer choice. I used to let my friends pick me. I was friends with just about anybody. I even hung around people I didn't like because I didn't know how to assert myself and didn't have the courage to say no to people. 

Now I still care what people think about me. But no to the point where I would try to change who I am to suit them. My caring now is more based on if peoples' opinions are based on the truth or on a lie. I am o.k. with people not liking me because I don't like all people either. I don't have to be friends with the world to be o.k. with myself. 

I have noticed that over the years I have learned to assert myself and have become more opinionated. I used to feel that if someone has a difference of opinion then it was a personal attack on me if they wanted to discuss it. I have come to separate my opinions on a topic from my feelings for the person. It's become almost amusing to me to come across people who can't make the separation because I see how I used to be in them. People who will drop a friendship because of a difference of opinion, or people who think if you are having a discussion with them it means you are trying to change them or are trying to telling them they are wrong in some way. I get into it with my husband sometimes because he says if I don't agree with something he did (getting angry at another driver), he says I'm against him. Just because I don't agree with your view of the situation doesn't me I don't see it from your side or that I am against you. I just don't believe in pretending anymore I feel one way when I don't. I also have come to like debating. That would have been a big dread of mine in high school or collage even. I have come to learn that debating is healthy. It gets your opinions out so you aren't bottling them up inside and it gets you to clearly define your opinions. I find more times then not people fall somewhere in the middle on a topic and are rarely ever 100% pro or con. I think you can learn something from listening to someone else's point of view and I don't think a debate is about trying to sway anyone's opinion. However I do believe if you do not like confrontation or debating do now say things that are debatable. Keep your opinions to yourself or only say your opinion when you believe you are in company with people who agree with you. 

I've realized in the past couple years that I have actually chosen for myself who my friends will be. I have not blindly let people decide for me who I will spend time with. I have gone out of my comfort zone and joined a social group. Not only that but I have met women I normal would never have met and have learned to not judge on first hand appearances. I have more in common with some people that I would think we would have nothing to talk about I have nothing in common with those I would have naturally leaned towards. 

I think the biggest change I have made, and I'm not sure when it happened, was the gaining of my own self respect. Valuing my own opinion and believing in my own voice has taken me from a mousy push over to someone who isn't afraid to speak her mind. I know the change has improved how I let people treat me but beyond that. It has also given me courage to stand up for other people. I really think the change happened after I had my son. It was a bit of an emotional time. A personal issue happened during a family holiday and I told my husband that no one will disrespect me in my home in front of my child...from that day on it morphed into you will not disrespect me or my family. It's one of those things. once you start standing up for your you can't stop. Then you start standing up for others, because if you are viewing yourself as worthy of respect then clearly those around you should be treated with respect. 

All though this is all things that have improved my life there is a bit of a downside...I have become my mother, I have become brutally honest with people. I think it has come from years of being told that everyone else's feelings were more important then my own. From hiding my own feelings and opinions so as not to hurt the feelings of others. So now if you're going to act like a jack ass. I'm going to flat out tell you you're being a jack ass. I won't sugar coat it for you and try to lesson the blow. The truth hurts but we are all entitled to hear the truth. I think in the end it makes us better people. If you are to busy trying to put a spoonful of sugar in the medicine the true point gets lost. My mother has always been the kind of person that just flat out tells you what she things when she feels you need to hear it. At times I hate it. At times it makes me angry and I want to hang up on her or kick her out of my car, but I listen and I learn. Sometimes I'm stubborn and I wont admit that she's right but I do step back an evaluate the situation. I rather have people angry with me for telling them the truth, then to have them be happy with me when all I want to do is slap them across the face anytime I see them. 

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Yummy Folic Acid Rich Salad

So I am sensitive to folic acid. In pill form it can make my morning sickness worse. So I have been finding ways to take in folic acid in other ways. Baby spinach and berries are high in folic acid. So mixing them into my diet is pretty easy to do seeing as they are already yummy. Today I tried out a new salad and it worked out great. 

My new favorite Salad:
Baby spinach
Sliced strawberries
Carrot sticks
XChopped Yellow Pepper
Mandarin Oranges
Raspberry vinaigrette dressing

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Pittsburgh has the worst drivers!!

I'm not even going to go on about how they all forget how to drive in the rain or god forbid the snow!
But this morning I was in two almost accidents on my way to work. All for basic human stupidity.
Frist merging onto the turnpike: You have a long on ramp to help you build up speed as you merge onto the highway. By time you get to the end you should be driving at highway speed. Check!
When the looping ramp and the highway come together you should try to make sure you are in between drivers that are already on the road if not slow down or speed up if need be. Same way if you are driving in the closest lane to the ramp you should be checking for on coming traffic. If someone is merging and you have space to move over you move to the next lane. If you and the oncoming car are going to occupy the space judge if you need to speed up or slow down. (this is usually done by judging to see if you are in front or behind the on coming car).  So today when the lanes came together moving towards the merge point I was in front of the other car but he was right at the back of the van. So what does the person do???? Nothing!! Just keeps pace with me as the merge lane is coming to an end as though I am supposed to slam on my brakes to let him pass me and then blasts me with the horn as he is attempting to run me off the road....Meanwhile. If he just tapped his brakes he would have reduced his speed enough to let the merge happen the way it should. Meanwhile, the next lane over was clear of all traffic making moving over a lane his optimal choice. There was no traffic behind him to which it would be a danger to slow down. There was no where for me to go seeing as there was a car in front and cars coming onto the highway behind me. So essentially I had little options in maneuvering unless I wanted to ram the guy in front or get rammed by the guy behind me. Why do people not know how to use a merge point?

Second one of the ride was getting into pittsburgh which is always like driving in a parking lot with a bunch of drivers ed students. So you're just always a little more cautious. So I needed to move over a lane but traffic is backed up forever as it always is. but there is a truck moving slowly in the right lane...you can tell he's used to driving here because at any moment someone can dart out in front of you. So I wait for the last car to pass and I go to pull out into the lane where as the little sports car behind me does the same thing but at a much faster pace so I slam on the brakes barely missing her and she starts flailing her arms and so I move out and around her and she gets out of her car and circles it looking for damage....I was like we didn't even touch if you're going to try to pull something over on me you got another thing coming. I was pretty sure she was going to try to come B**** me out which I was ready for but apparently she was in much to much of a hurry which is why she almost got smushed in the first place!  Lesson in blind spots! When your car is small and low to the ground I am not going to see you in my mini van until you are halfway along the length of the van. Which is where I finally caught sight of her and put on the brakes. She was just lucky I didn't gun it to merge over, as she did in order to try to get in front of me. What is your rush people? Why don't you look and pay attention to peoples signals.




Tuesday, January 22, 2013

I'm saddened

This is my little note or long not...not sure if it will turn into a rant...on why illegalizing abortion will do a thing about stopping abortions from happening.  Key note here. This is not a pro life or pro choice rant. this is a take a step back and look at what it is you want to accomplish and how you are going about doing it.

First off if you are in agreement that stricter gun laws wont stop people from shooting people. Then you have to be smart enough to see that illegalizing abortion wont stop a desperate women from getting it done. The only thing it will accomplish is pushing it back underground. Leading desperate people to do desperate things. Now you are not only loosing the lives of the baby but many times you are also loosing the mothers life as well. You make it a breeding ground for sick careless people to pray on their weaknesses. Men and women who will call themselves doctors or experts who will butcher these women and for what? So you can sleep better at night?

The only way you will ever stop abortion is to fix the world we live in. Make it safe for women to go out into the world and know that no man is going to force himself upon her, that their male relatives wont hurt them when no one is around. Make it so every women can afford to feed her family and give her the support needed to raise a child. By giving your sons and daughters a sense of responsibility for their actions.

Educate your children about sex. Not just preaching abstinence until marriage. If sex wasn't seen as this dirty nasty subject everyone seems to think it is then your children would feel free to come to you and to ask questions. You should be building a child's sexual self confidence along with everything else you teach your child to be proud off. They should grow up knowing that these are my special private parts, to be protected and cherished. Not these are my dirty no no bits, not to be spoken about. Abstinence doesn't work, self esteem does. When a person feels they are worth waiting for, worth protecting themselves and can stand up for themselves that's where the abstinence you are looking for will come from.

If you want to look at it from a biblical point of view. I agree there are rules as to what you can and can not to in order to be a true follower of the lord. However, I need someone to point out where the lord states go into the world and smite all those not following the rules? I would also like to have pointed out where Jesus forces people into following the lord by screams profanities at them  and spits in the faces of sinners? Jesus never forced anyone to follow his teachings. He lead by example. If you are pro-life and you want to save the lives of children then offer up your own money, your own homes. Become the parents for these children you clam are out there.

The childcare system in this country is not the fairy tale you try to sell it as. Most children are not adopted as infants unless they are white. Most children get passed around from home to home or are stuck in an institution. A great many are placed in unsafe homes with people who only want the money. Many are abused at the hands of the people you say are out there to love and protect them. There are also far many children that need a home then there are families willing to take them.

If at this point you are thinking you're just a pro choicer who thinks it's o.k. to kill babies and doesn't know what they are talking about then you are only half right. I am pro understanding. I am pro compassion. I am pro education. I know many pro lifers out there that are wonderful people and who openly express their view. I'm fine with that but if your idea of helping is yelling at pro choicers, yelling at scared 15 year old girls that if they kill their baby they are going to hell, or you think bombing a clinic is a good thing you need to rethink your idea of a good Christian moral code. If you want to help then instead of trying to scare already frightened women who have already found themselves in a mess how about you use that energy to actually do something that helps. For example take the billboard with the fetas at such and such weeks and how it's got a heart beat and you are nothing more then a murderer if you go through with the abortion; compare that to the one that says are you pregnant and need help? call blah blah blah.... one is compassionate and shows there is someone out there that cares that can help you decide what is right for you and your baby; compared to the self esteem eating propaganda.

 In the end what I'm trying to say is stop using hatred and hurtful means to get what you want. Fill yourselves full of love, understanding and tolerance. Finish the work Jesus started the way he intended it to be done. With a gentle hand and a kind heart. A sin against your fellow man done in the name of the lord is still a sin.